Updated: Sep 10, 2020
These days yelling has become a common form of communication in my house (At least from me). When you are wrangling 4 kids who are all under 10, tension seems to rise in an instant. One kid stole the others toy, they are all zoned out on television or somebody is fighting because his brother isn’t playing the game correctly, it is always something. Whatever it is we can all get on each other’s nerves.
On this day I was catching up on some teachings from the “She Speaks” conference while trying to get the boys settled into their day. As I was wrapping up my studies, I was feeling confident and motivated. You know the type of motivation that makes you look around and say I am going to get some crap done, thinking to myself “I’m on my way to be a New York Times Bestselling author”. Watch out world! Here I come! Feeling all that “I am the boss” energy, I was unknowingly directing it to my kids, and it was not working out too well. If anything, trying to focus on my studies while making lunch turned me into a monster, impatient, and short with my kids, causing them to feel unloved, unheard, and ignored completely. Upon recognizing this I instantly started to feel the mom guilt.
In full multitask mode I was going in 10 directions when I heard a little voice ask me “Mom you know what I love most about you?” I turned around ready to get onto my son thinking “What has he done now?” Fighting the urge to yell I turned and asked my 8-year-old “what’s that Preston?”
His response really got me thinking, and extremely surprised! “That you love God!” he said. Are you kidding me? I thought. Instantly I walked over to Preston grabbed his little body and hugged him tight! (keeping him from seeing the tears of relief coming down my face.)
My mom guilt from being I am in “boss mode” with the devil whispering to me; “Your Selfish” minutes prior lifted off of me.
The holy spirit instantly reminding that Jesus’s grace covers me, allowing them to see the Father and not my faults. The Holy Spirit took that opportunity through my second son to remind me to slow down, acknowledge God’s love, and remember who is in control.
All moms have dreams and goals for their kids. Some want them to finish college, some want them to be successful athletes or simply make a friend. Whatever your goals may be for your kids one of my top goals is for my children to truly hear and understand the Lord. That as they grow, they would see and know their heavenly Father’s love.
When I envision achieving that goal for my kids, I imagined it would happen because of how holy they thought their mom was. How she prayed all the time, never lifting her voice or lashing out in anger. You know the mom that only cooks organic vegetables and wears red lipstick every day loving being a parent all of the time. That mom! Ha! My mouth ruined that for me not long after they were old enough to understand what I was saying. Also, let’s just say my kids ate frozen pizza tonight. Being a parent isn’t my favorite job, to say the least. Just keeping it real.
But God! God who can do anything and reach anyone covered me in HIS grace in unmeasurable ways beyond anything I could do or imagine. Can I get a hallelujah!
I love how in Ephesians 3:20 it says,” Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”
The Lord made me a mother, he implanted the desires in my heart, the Godly desires that I wanted to pass onto my kids, and because of that, they saw him. They saw his love through me, and it has covered all the mistakes I have made through the years because His grace is greater!
I could make this about following your goals or being real with your kids through acknowledging your faults but that is not my goal. While all those things are important, I want this to focus on your child seeing God in you. Hearing that my son saw God through me was one of the most powerful things he has ever said to me. It was a compliment that affirmed me and kept me going. “I love you because you love God.” Through all my shortcomings he still sees that I love God and strive to serve him. Now that’s something he can take with him long after I am gone. Something that I have always dreamed they would see in me.
"In every season, in every circumstance, His grace is sufficient for me." Nancy Leigh DeMoss
His grace covered me that day as it has all day during this confusing time. The word says it best. Ephesians 4:7 “But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.”
Don’t you love that? Let that be your encouragement today. Did you yell at your kids this morning? Are you feeling guilty? Listen the Lord is with you in every season. Your kids see you worshipping, they see you listening to a podcast or saying that quick prayer as your patience runs thin. They see God through you and his grace covers you, the love that we carry inside of our hearts for him and our kids covers a multitude of sins. So, give yourself grace and keep your eyes on the Lord. You are doing great mama. You Love God!