Updated: Feb 19, 2020
The world tells us to have your baby and jump right back. The culture we live in is all about doing
“all the things” as normal and acting as if bringing life into the world is just a thing we do with ease. As if our bodies didn’t just go through one of the toughest things we will ever do.
As if the adjustment of this God giving miracle is something we get over and make work. Women are constantly comparing themselves to other women or their bounce-back time. We hear things like; I went back to work in 4 days and I had my kids in church that weekend. Judgments being cast, making people afraid to share their experiences of being pregnant, going through labor and postpartum. We become afraid to share our difficult adjustments and our experiences with other women.
All the pressure makes things even harder to process and accept in the midst of the circumstances. You tend to lose a sense of yourself. Now don’t take my words and think for a second I don’t love my baby! (As if I need to explain this.) She’s absolutely perfect for me and so special! She makes our family complete! But with this amazing gift from God comes some of the most difficult times and adjustments. And those are my nice words. I know this isn’t the end. I know who I am in Jesus and what the word says about me thank God! But the struggle is real. So let’s get real.
I’m early postpartum, (2 weeks) vulnerable and raw.
I’m feeling overwhelmed and unaccomplished. Nursing is a job in itself that makes your hormones that much more out of whack. My joints hurt like never before and hot sweats are my enemy at night. These are just a few symptoms and side effects with this postpartum that I haven’t had before. But I’m not 20 anymore and I’m on number 4 of my pregnancies. Having our 4th baby with three boys. 9, 7 and 3 have been difficult, to say the least. The 3-year-old is having a difficult time adjusting. He’s pulling his dad which is adding a bit more disconnect between us and the baby for him.
We also recently just went through a devastating hurricane which caused us to have no power for a few days and some tree damage. Nothing crazy thank God because others in our community weren’t so fortunate. School, of course, has been closed all week and they just got started. In all this starting a routine has been impossible. My mother in law not being able to come in because of the evacuation was disappointing to us all as we looked forward to her coming. That along with everything that was up the air was very difficult.
Our poor boys haven’t had a whole week in school yet and my husband hasn’t really able to work. I’m in the midst of writing a book, trying to also advertise my name and mission. It’s all stalled out because of everything going on and finances, which doesn't make me feel any better. I’m not acting like I used to be. Even the pregnancy was difficult, stalling me earlier than I wanted. Feeling overwhelmed, emotional, tired and hormonal seems to be the icing on the cake for all of this. During my pregnancy Getting out, working out, and the water we live by helped me get through. It made me feel like myself, which is a struggle these days during my postpartum. Living in a place where we don’t have any family is hard. We don’t have anyone we feel really comfortable to ask for help. As asking for help has always been a bit of a struggle for me anyways. (I’m working on it.) So it’s just been my husband and I and we are really feeling it from the demands of where our life is. We live near the beach and the water was my happy place especially during the summer.
Not being able to get out and watching all my community enjoy the last bit of summer has been tough as well. Being a “go-go” person on the stall with little to no motivation has been a whirlwind of emotion I’m not sure what to do with. I wish at the end of this post I could tell you I got through it but I haven't yet, I’m still walking through it. I write all this as I hear my kids screaming in the other room because their dad turned away for a split second. So if you take anything from this post or this rant it’s to give grace to new moms, new dads.
Grab there groceries as they check out from the store and walk them to the car. Drop off food on the front porch even if it’s takeout they will appreciate it. I know I have! Grab there kids if you are in a position to do so. Give grace, be real and support each other. It’s hard.
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